likeaking

Were you aware that you have been living better than a king? I didn't
know that myself for a long time, but after having come to that realization,
every aspect of day to day life began to blossom with new meaning.

We make comparisons all day long. Some of those are made
consciously, but for the most part this happens outside of our conscious
awareness. The question is (and oh what a big question it is), what are
we making our comparisons to?

Anytime you hear the words faster, better, stronger, more comfortable,
more painful, etc. you are witnessing a comparison take place. Most of
that comparison takes place inside the mind of the speaker, uttering only
one half of the equation.

If someone says, “I like that chair, it's beautiful!" Compared to what? Any
time we make an evaluative statement, we have compared one thing to
another thing or set of things. Yet we don't usually say what those other
things are, again, usually because we are not aware of them.

Do you remember the last morning you got up and shortly thereafter
declared the day a disaster? A disaster compared to what, or whom? I
got up this morning and walked 15 feet to my bathroom. I then walked to
the kitchen and with the flip of a switch turned on the light, so I could
open my refrigerator for something cold to drink. I plopped a couple of
pieces of raisin bread into the toaster, sat down at my computer, and
looked at a digital display of today’s real-time weather. Oh, I forgot to
mention, my rooms were dry and toasty, and I had hot water for my
coffee in seconds. Pretty typical American morning right?

Friday afternoon, I enjoyed another relaxing conversation with my 80
year old great aunt. The town of Trenton had experienced about 4 hours
with no electricity earlier in the day, so our conversation led to the early
part of her life and similar situations. Until she was married, she had
never had electricity or a refrigerator in her home. Three fires were
started each day to cook, even when the August temperatures were
already pushing the inside temperatures near 100 degrees. Butter and
milk were kept cool, by placing them in a bucket and lowering them down
into the well. All of this within the last 80 years!

Now, go back in time several hundred years earlier and pick any King.
Would you agree that even my great aunt had luxuries available that the
most powerful man in the land did not have a few hundred years before?
Thankfully, few of us have to deal with the conditions that she did early in
life. So let me ask you, what would one of your "disaster" days seem like
when compared to her everyday life in the 1930's? Almost by default,
when things don't go as desired, we compare the outcome to that of one
of our previous best days, or worse yet, to one of someone else’s best
days.

When we learn to ask ourselves, “What am I comparing it to?", and then
ask this question anytime that we are feeling un-resourceful about our
evaluation, our attitude immediately begins to shift.

A study was conducted to determine why some injured athletes
rehabilitate and return to their career, while others seem to crumble. The
findings were amazingly simple. The athletes that made a successful
recovery made very different distinctions and asked better questions.
Those who were successful at making the recovery, no matter how long it
took, made self to self comparisons. In other words, they compare where
they are today with where they were last week. The only thing that is
important to them is the progress they are making.

Conversely, those that fall to the wayside get caught up in making self to
other comparisons. They look at where they are compared to where one
of their friends is in their current situation, and as silly as it sounds, they
usually pick someone without an injury!! It is clear to most, that when you
compare yourself to someone stronger, prettier, taller, richer, funnier
etc., you will probably wind up feeling less than resourceful. However,
when you are making progress, even if it's minimal, and then noticing that
through your self to self comparisons, you will be elevating your emotions
in a favorable manner.

You may be wondering if self to other comparisons are always poor
choices. Isn't it true that our society makes countless self to other
comparisons? So there must be something positive about them, right?
Absolutely! The achievements of others serve as wonderful examples of
what has been possible for people to do. When we read and study these
examples closely, we can sometimes even find a blueprint for how to do it
ourselves.

The inherent danger with these "positive" examples is when we sense a
wide gap between that person and ourselves, we may decide, “They
must have natural talent, I could never do that!" We must always monitor
our thinking to make sure that what could serve as a powerful motivating
story, does in fact get processed in a way that motivates. If not, we run
the risk of that same story bursting our balloon of hope and desire.
The key is this: The primary tool for achievement is measuring our own
results. When we make self to self comparisons, we can then look to
great biographies about the achievement of others for inspiration, not as
examples to create jealousy. Below is a list of the six keys to successful
athletic rehabilitation and a positive mental attitude. Please notice that
these same keys can be used with great success in most any other area
of life.

Inner motivation

The value of high standards

Breaking goals into smaller "chunks"

A flexible time frame

Personal involvement

Self to self comparisons

You can utilize this knowledge to more effectively accomplish most any
goal that is important to you.

© Copyright 2007, Vincent Harris. All Rights Reserved.