Iloveyoursuit

I just love it when I’m surprised by simplicity. In a world
that is racing forward with new discoveries being made
daily, and technological advances showing up just as
fast, in almost every field of study imaginable, it seems
logical that if we just wait another week or so, we’ll have
access to the “be all, end all” influence technique or
strategy.

What would it be like if you discovered that you already
possess the knowledge and ability to do what science
has proven to be the most effective concept for
influencing men? Even if you work in the female oriented
“Victoria’s Secret”, statistics show that a significant
number of purchases are made by men, do you think
knowing what moves them to action, whether you’re a
man or woman, could be useful to know?

Stop for just a moment. What’s the last conversation you
had with someone that left you feeling good about
yourself? Isn’t it true that when someone has praised
you, complimented you, or acknowledged you in some
way, it just kind of warmed you from the inside out, made
you stand a little taller, and had you smiling on the inside?

Anyone who has read Kevin Hogan’s best selling book,
“The Psychology of Persuasion” knows that there are
some amazingly powerful techniques for influencing and
persuading others that have been discovered in recent
years. If you have ever seen the seemingly unending
rows of sales and influence books at your local book
store, you’ll understand why I had to pick my jaw up off of
the floor when Kevin Hogan recently told me the one
thing that supersedes all others, when influencing men:
Praise.

That’s right, your chances of influencing a man to do or
buy anything, will go up exponentially when you sincerely
deliver ample amounts of praise. Kevin Hogan knows
more about influence and persuasion than most experts
will ever forget. He introduced me as a speaker at his
famous Influence Boot Camp in Las Vegas. He said, “I’ve
coached a few hundred public speakers in my career.
Every now and then, someone comes along that makes
you stop and say, “Wow!” and I’ve had 4 or 5 of those
people over the years; Vince Harris is one of them.” Now,
he wasn’t using some intricate language pattern or
complex persuasion strategy. Yet in that very moment, if
Kevin would have been selling cheap versions of the
once famous Pet Rock, I’d have been the first one in line.

None of us like to feel like we are being sold or
persuaded; we do however like to feel good about
ourselves, and when the person that helps us do so, also
happens to have a product or service available, we sure
do like to “repay” them for the good deeds they have
been so generous with. You could actually think of it as
an invisible form of reciprocity. The Law of Reciprocity
states that when we give someone something that has a
perceived value for them, they will feel compelled to
return that favor. I ask you, what do you and I value more
than a heartfelt compliment?

To be sure, there are some almost magical influence
strategies that will move others to action, and they should
all be used where appropriate. They should however,
especially when dealing with men, be used beneath the
canopy of praise. When you have first praised the person
before you, everything else you do or say will have an
amplified impact. It’s easy to throw a big rock through a
window, but when the window in question has already
been cracked, even the smallest of pebbles will get the
job done.

The next time you wish to influence someone try this:
forget about what methods you will use, or what masterful
words you might say; the words that will be heard as
“masterful” by others, are the ones that are used to
deliver the sweet sound of praise…about them!

You may be surprised to discover that when others feel
as though you are the “angel” of good feelings, that
almost any words will be effective for purpose of
presenting your proposal. You might also be reminded of
how good you feel, when your day has been full of
assisting others to feel good too.

© Copyright 2007, Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.